Written by Pointer
Print this
Topics: Birds

Saturday, 17 February 2007

image for Serious Depression Strikes American Bald Eagle
Bird Therapist finds clinical depression in American Eagle

Ornithologists have been observing a kind of Avian Clinical Depression (ACD) among American Bald eagle populations in the last six years: "They can't sleep or sleep too much. No appetite or over-eating and low affect have all been observed." Bird-watcher Lovey Feathrd-Frend told Audabon Society reporter,Watchman Pajaros.

At first the speculation surrounded the baldness.Experts employed then human model and suggested that just as people got bummed out over serious hair loss so too must our eagle brothers and sisters be tanking over their baldness.then a new theory was advanced as eagle watchers in remote locations of the US discovered that the further eagles were from news centers the less depressed they were.

"Only eagles who had nests near cities with news of the Disasterous Bush presidency suffered most seriously!",according to "Eagle-eye" Byrdbrane, President of the US Ornithological Society, "We think the depression is due to the decline of the American society under Bush.Apparently two birds in a Bush are in big trouble!"

In a related story a pair of eagles on a ledge outside of Fox News in upstate NY suffered no signs of depression.

Make Pointer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

4 21 13 1
71 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more