Fort Lauderdale, Florida - (ReuterUs): News that shock jock Howard 'Private Parts' Stern is to marry his long term girlfriend Beth Ostrosky has sent shockwaves of confusion over America.
The satellite radio show host who was divorced by Alison Berns, his wife of 21 years, after constant public bragging about his supposed fidelity while entertaining scores of strippers and porn stars, announced his engagement on air today.
Meanwhile at Broward County Circuit Court Howard K Stern's lawyers applied for custody of the body of former stripper and Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith who died mysteriously a week ago.
"That makes two Howard Sterns in one week", said a Faux News anchorman this morning, "and some Americans are finding it difficut to cope with all these similarities.
"Added to which is the extra confusion in the shape of the Stern Review into Greenhouse Gases which has got some folks very worried indeed.
"Some are wondering if it was poor Anna Nicole's partner Howard K Stern who concocted the whole scaremongering report about exhaust fumes destroying the environment.
"And now he wants custody of her baby and custody of her dead body.
"And the next thing they know is that Howard Stern says he's getting married to a blonde supermodel with a much smaller breats than Anna Nicole.
"What is it with that name and its penchant for peroxide bimbettes?"