Baghdad - Today in front of hushed reporters in Baghdad's heavily fortified American hideaway known locally as the "green zone", General Aaron P Funkemeyer of the US marine corps produced what he claimed was definitive evidence that Irans revolutionary government was supplying illegal condiments to Iraq's growing insurgency.
The General in a theatrical flourish pulled a small sachet from his pocket and claimed that the sachet was found in a kitchen in Basra by members of an elite commando force specially set up by the Pentagon to get to the bottom of just who is supplying the insurgents with this particular spicy food flavouring.
The condiment in question is known in Arabic as Spunq and is reputed to have been a particular favourite of the late Ayatollah Khomeini.
Tehran based reporter for Le Monde, Theirry Dupree confirmed this by saying, "Its true that Spunq was one of khomeini's favourite things, he wouldn't eat anything unless it was covered in liberal coatings of Spunq."
The discovery of Spunq in a Basra kitchen was proof positive the General claimed that elements of the Iranian government were indeed involved in transporting Spunq across the border into the British controlled Basra area. He went on to say, "Its only a matter of time before Spunq is used against coalition troops, and then all of you naysayers in the press will not only have the blood of innocent soldiers to contend with, but also the bitter taste Iranian Spunq."