Gillian McDonut, a recently deceased homicide victim, spoke of her joy yesterday at winning American Idol.
"It's a dream come true for me," said McDonut, "After I was stabbed and passed away, I thought my dream of becoming a pop star was over. Now, however, I've got my whole life...I mean death in front of me."
Gillian, dubbed the comeback Queen by the press, was butchered by a crazed madman, Dr Death.
The Doctor's plan was to reanimate Gillian and then force her to give birth to a mutant army of superhuman brain-eating zombies.
"Yeah...I still enjoy eating brains but my music comes first." Gillian told us yesterday.
It was hoped that Miss McDonut's first single would be a duet with Sir Elton John but, unfortunately, this was postponed after the follically challenged, midget superstar was found partially eaten in his dressing room.
Simon Cowell paid tribute to Gillian's win by saying, "She's a lovely girl and the whole brain-eating thing is a good gimmick. The public love someone who's a bit different."