Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 12 February 2007

image for Anna Nicole tampon fetches $50,000 on eBay
Worth every penny

Bahamas - (ReUterus & Ass. Mess): A partially used tampon once worn by former Playboy centrefold Anna Nicole Smith has broken all records by selling for over $50,000 on internet auction site eBay.

And in a further development remains of her liposuctioned ass fat that was accidentally stored in a Los Angeles cosmetic surgery clinic's deep freeze has been bought by conceptual British artist Damien Hirst, famous for his pickled sheep exhibits.

Hirst's PR agency has confirmed that the artist is to sculpt Anna Nicole's bodyfat into a bas-relief portrait of ageing Moulin Rouge/Queen of Outer Space star Zsa Zsa Gabor in a tribute to her conjugal plight following 20 years marriage to love-rat asshole Prince Frederick Von Assfelt.

The Monaco tax exile Prince's risible claims to the paternity of baby Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern have been the laughing stock of Eurotrash dinner parties the world over after his personal urino-genitary surgeon confirmed Von Assfelt had had the snip as a condition of his marriage to Zsa Zsa in 1987.

This was believed to be purely on aesthetic grounds after the much married Hungarian actress refused to agree to certain conjugal practices in her pre-nup, especially those involving swallowing.

Von Assfelt is 59.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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