West Linn, Oregon.:> Fed up with long lines of spoiled greedy children, long hours, and no smoke breaks, department store Santas all over the world have organized a massive job walk-off protest.
"We can't take it any f#cking more!" one Santa explained. "The screaming, overweight punk-ass kids are too much this year. We have decided to collectively walk off the job in protest, and strike for better conditions."
Todd Evans, a spokesperson for the Santas, has verified that starting the morning of December 26th, all department store Santas worldwide will be asked to support their brethren and walk off the job.
"Come Friday morning, you won't see a single Santa in any department store worldwide! We're that organized, and we're that serious!" Mr. Evans explains to the media.
Department store officials didn't care to comment on the story, other than bursting into uncontrollable laughter.