Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 12 February 2007

image for Princeton ESP Lab had spooky premonitions of closure
Spooky feelings of failure thirty years ago

Princeton, NJ - (Rioters): The Principal of Princeton University's ESP Laboratory - the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research laboratory or PEAR - says he's had a spooky feeling for the last thirty years that the pioneering psychic research facility will close in a few weeks' time due to failure of all its experiments.

Following thousands of attempts to tap into extrasensory perception and dabble with telekinesis, the Lab will now be mothballed after scores of leading academics slammed it as an embarrassment to science.

"After thirty years it's all gone pear-shaped", said Dr Robert L. Park, a University of Maryland physicist and author of "Voodoo Science: The Road From Foolishness to Fraud and the Princeton ESP Laboratory".

Some are blaming the Uri Geller Professorial Endowment Fund for all the disasters that have befallen the research institute.

But academic rivals at Harvard have laughed themselves silly at the idea and said the blame lies squarely on the opening scenes of the Ghostbusters movie which parodied the Princeton Lab's founder by lampooning him as idiot Dr Wenkman.

"Should have seen it coming".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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