The mother of the late Anna Nicole Smith announced today she is holding tryouts for any man claiming to be the biological father of baby Dannielynn. Among the contenders is a cryogenically frozen sample of Ms. Smith's late husband Mr. Marshall's sperm, her attorney, Mr. Stern, Zsa Zsa Gabor's Agent, and some guy from California who she slept with a few times for a pack of cigarettes.
Paternity will be determined by narrowing the field of applicants down to a round of sixteen finalists who will advance by winning successive Rock, Paper, Scissors playoff matches. Pinch hitting for the late Mr. Marshall's sperm will be a small tube of white cake decorator's icing equipped with microbotic hands.
Copyright 2007, R. Mejia