Written by CrazyTexan
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Tuesday, 23 December 2003

image for Florida Judge Orders Limbaugh Dental Records Unsealed

In an unprecedented move, a Florida judge ordered Rush Limbaugh's dental records unsealed. Prosecutors wanted Limbaugh's records opened to see if he "dentist shopped" to get his cavities filled.

Rumors have been swirling for months that the conservative talk show host has poor dental habits. Gingivitis, plaque, and cavities are all alleged ailments that Limbaugh is accused of having.

Mr. Limbaugh's lawyers were shocked when the judge made the decision. "I just can't believe in a constitutional country, that someone's rights can be trampled on during a dental witch hunt," lead attorney Roy Black said.

A flossing Limbaugh was quoted as saying, "These charges are trumped up by left wingers to discredit my dental hygiene. I have good dental hygiene, I have always had good dental hygiene, and these accusations are not only detrimental to myself, but to my hard working dentist as well."

The lead prosecutor said: "This is a great day. America is safer now than ever. One more person with poor dental hygiene will soon be taken off the street."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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