Written by SamIAm
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Saturday, 10 February 2007

image for Area Man Likes Boobs - Community Disgusted
Though covered, Winslow likes these boobs too.

Kokomo, Indiana - A local man here made a shocking announcement to fellow workmates today. Phil Winslow, 27, told three other male workers that he liked boobs, and was attracted to women because they possessed them.

"I don't know why," said Winslow. "I just like them. I like looking at them in real life, or even pictures. I just like boobs! What can I say?"

Fellow workmates were disgusted at the news.

"How sick can you get?" said Tyson Stone, 24, a fellow workmate of Winslow. "I mean, he actually admitted he liked them! This 'boob-liking' has to be some sort of disease!"

In fact, Winslow went even farther than simply confessing he liked boobs. He was quoted as saying he loved touching them, playing with them and doing other things with the female parts.

"I even wrote a poem about it," said Winslow. "I know it's sick, but I just had to get it out."

The poem is, as follows:

"I Like Boobs!"
By Phil Winslow

If you ask me what is my favorite thing,
Is it presents with ribbons all tied up in string?
I'll tell you quite plainly like I've told all the rest.
The best thing on earth is a set of nice breasts!

It sounds pretty childish, but you have to admit
There's nothing as sacred as squeezing a tit!
You can eat cherry ice cream or tasty French Ripple,
It can never compare to sucking a nipple!

They come in all sizes, some big and some small.
Some nipples are flat, and some, really tall!
Some look kind of saggy, like tube socks with sand.
Some look non-existent like flat, prairie land!

They're something to play with when she's up on top,
Like a crib's mobile toy, your hands just can't stop!
With your head in between them they press to your ears,
They intoxicate more than twenty-five beers.

I like boobs! There, I said it, now I'm done!
And I'm glad that each woman has more than just one!
They're my favorite thing, and now you know why.
I love seeing boobs!
(but not on a guy!)

The poem was sent to hospital officials and examined.

"We've never heard of anything like this," said James Gunther, PHD. "A man who actually enjoys viewing boobs, whether naked or covered, is probably the most abnormal behavior in my field to come along in quite a while."

Gunther says that Winslow needs "immediate and intense" therapy.

"We must do something about this before this boob thing gets out of hand," Gunther said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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