Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 10 February 2007

image for Mohammed Al Fayed says Anna Nicole was pregnant
Harrab's memorial tableau vivant of the pregnant Anna Nicole

London - (ReUterus & Ass. Mess): Phoney Pharaoh and owner of Harrabs department store in central London Mohammed Al Fayed has told a press conference today that on the morning of her death former Playboy centrefold Anna Nicole Smith phoned him and told him she was pregnant.

"I immediately told her to remember the seat belt if she was going out in some dodgy hotel limo", said Fayed.

"And the next thing I hear she's hit her head in the bathroom and is now dead".

Fayed's lawyers have issued a statement saying their client thinks there's been "some sort of cover-up" and blamed Prince Philip:

"He's always wanted her dead. First it was Marilyn two-timing him with the Kennedys, then there was Grace Kelly when he spiked the Ferrari brakes. Next Diana and my own sweet Dodi. And now my lovely Anna Nicole.

"It's fuggin' bad I can tell you. It's criminal."

The distraught Egytian grocer has vowed to take out an injunction demanding the immediate release of Ms Smith's body and the publication of an official urine test.

A memorial tableau vivant to the Texan-born stripper has been installed in the Harrab's corsetry department including an eternal flame lighting up the nipples of a waxwork mannequin of Ms Smith.

Al Fayed is 67.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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