Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 10 February 2007

image for Zsa Zsa Gabor says von Asphalt is one dirty sodding bastard
Waaaahhhh. Not the Gabors as well....

Monte Carlo - (Rotters): A heartbroken and humiliated Zsa Zsa Gabor was consulting her lawyers today after her husband of 20 years Prince Frederick von Assfelt claimed to have been shagging Anna Nicole Smith since 1990 and had also fathered her baby daughter Dannielynn.

Now Zsa Zsa is threatening to sue Frederick for divorce and eventually convert his cremated body into synthetic diamonds that she will then use to decorate a dog collar for one of her Shitzu pooches.

A spokesman for the serial monogamist Hungarian vamp said today that von Assfelt is a "chronic fabricator who likes to inject himself into current events to see himself on television.

"And anyway he is one big perv: Five years ago he wanted to adopt Anna Nicole Smith herself, but a conjugal trip with his wife to the synthetic diamond factory where she plans to convert his ashes one day soon changed his mind somewhat".

Zsa Zsa Gabor is 84.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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