An audible sigh of relief could be heard emanating today from NASA headquarters in Washington, D.C. Early poll ratings suggest that U.S. citizens are even more interested in the emerging news of Ms. Smith's death than they were in the Lisa Nowak story. These poll results bode well for NASA officials who have struggled for days with damage control over their wayward, lovesick astronauts.
"Thank the stars above that our 15 minutes of fame is over!" exclaimed NASA spokesperson, Will E. Likeme, "We are so fortunate to be a part of this great country populated by people with such tiny attention spans!"
In a show of gratitude for the diversion, NASA will donate one million dollars to the newly formed foundation, Keep Anna Nicole Smith's Memory Alive (or as it will commonly be known, KANS-MA). The mission of the foundation is to keep the public's attention focused on any and all news pertaining to the cause of Ms. Smith's death, the disposition of her fortune, and the paternity of her 5 month old daughter.
With expected alacrity and not a trace of shame, the White House also announced this afternoon that President Bush will make a personal donation to the foundation.
Copyright 2007, K. Napolitano