Dallas, Texas - Ray Furrows, 33, and Peter Santino, 56, were both urinating side-by side in the men's restroom at "Big 'N' Tubby's Steakhouse," when Furrows turned to Santino and said, "How's it goin'?" causing both men to become instantly gay.
"I didn't mean anything by it," said Furrows. "We both stepped up to the urinals at the same time and it seemed like the right thing to do."
Furrows admits that he should have done what all men do while urinating side-by-side: Look strait ahead and keep your mouth shut.
"It just slipped out," said Furrows. "Those three simple words made me go from a steak-eating man's man, to a bathroom-greeting panty-waist! I feel so embarrassed!"
"I can't believe he did this to me!" said Santino, once a very strait man, but now gayer than Richard Simmons in a pink bunny outfit sitting in an Easter basket on Sunday. "I didn't even say anything back, but now I'm gay! That's not even fair! Doesn't he know you don't talk to another guy while holding your privates and peeing? I otta' slap that bitch!"
Santino says that he plans to sue Furrows for making him turn instantly gay. "He had no right to break the man-law," said Santino. "But he did and now I'm gay. Well, we'll see what the courts have to say."
"It's ridiculous that he's suing me," said Furrows, now gay. "It's not like I haven't suffered. My wife left me as soon as she found out I was gay and I got fired from my job. What more does this guy want from me?"
Though both men admit they don't "feel" gay, they know they are, because they communicated while urinating, and, even worse, made eye contact.
"Communicating while urinating is a definite no-can-do in Men Ethics," said Dr. Javin Forrester, Professor of Human Behavior at Bronze State Hospital. "Men are bound by the laws of Men Ethics. If you talk to another man while urinating, you are gay. If you pat another man on the back while in the bathroom at any time, you are gay."
Forrester also said that when two men hug, they should pat each other's back three times. "I call it the: 'I'm-Not-Gay' pat. The 'pat-pat-pat' represents the words in 'I'm-not-gay'. Men must execute this pat in order to avoid becoming instantly gay."
Both Santino and Furrows, now gay, are expected to be in court on Monday.