Written by Breeze
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Wednesday, 7 February 2007

image for Fears that new Apple iPorn will lead to rise in RSI among American workers
The new iPorn will revolutionise the filth industry

Claims are coming in that Apple will unveil the long-awaited video iPorn next week. Apple Ceo, Steve Jobs, has said that he spotted a gap in the market which the iPorn will fill.

"Pornography has always been static, with aficionados of hard-core filth consigned to sticky fumblings behind locked doors. The iPorn will change all that and finally allow tossers to be mobile and enjoy top drawer filth while on the move."

Mr Job's new product now means that users will be able to view hard-core muck in the gym, on the bus or simply while relaxing at home.

"I predict that this product will be as revolutionary as wheel and certainly a lot more fun to use." said Mr Jobs today.

However some critics of the iPorn have claimed that it will cost the American tax payer billions in lost revenue, as thousands of users take off sick with RSI (repetative strain injury) and that some chronic users could even be rendered blind.

Professor J Caringbunny, from the Californian Mastabutory Institute, has warned, "Not only has this device the potential to become addictive but it could also cause serious injury if over-used, with conditions such as 'penile chaffing' and possibly even 'testicular numbing disorder' becoming more and more prevalent."

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