Hillary Rodham Clinton, former First Lady, Current U.S. Senator from New York, and Presidential Candidate was caught in bed with television and movie star Rosie O'Donnell. Room service waiter Frank Buckler of the Lower East Side Holiday Inn in New York City discovered the pair when he was delivering a plate of oysters to Clinton's room.
"They were doing it all right." Said Buckler, "I was quick enough to pull out my cell phone and take a few pictures. I sent 'em to everyone, you know what I mean?"
"When they noticed me they pulled the sheets around each other. Rosie was all ruddy and they were both out of breath. Now, I like the girl on girl porn stuff, but this was just sick. A fat broad and a saggy old lady going at each other does not look good. You know what I mean?"
"Give me two hot cheerleaders and a bottle of baby oil, and I'm all over that. That's what I'm talkin' about!"
Representatives from the Clinton campaign office declined to comment.
Rosie O"Donnell, however, had this to say: "Yeah, we wuz doin' it. What of it? What's it to you? You got somethin' to say, then say it to my face! I liked it; it was good. If Hillary wants to stay in the closet for now and deny it, then that's her business. I liked it. I'd do her again."
The actions confirmed rumors that have been around for years that Clinton is a lesbian, even if she is unwilling at this time to come fully out of the closet.
None of the other Democratic Presidential candidates wanted to issue statements on this event except Joe Biden. He was quoted as saying that "If she wants Rosie, she can have her. I couldn't do that fat lesbo broad. I'm also glad someone is doing Hillary, because I always felt sorry for Bill having to bang that bitch."