AP - Former Vice-President, and star of Oscar-nominated film, An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore, is using his rejuvenated celebrity status to get answers.
In a written public statement, Gore revealed that he has indeed discovered the exact location of a single hole in the Earth's protective ozone layer. "Our search is finally over," wrote Gore, "We have found the source of our troubles and now all we have to do is go up there and plug it".
An estimated $4.65 billion is being estimated in the construction of a "wish table" that Gore estimates will reach the hole--a mere fifteen kilometers above the Earth's surface. The hole, which Gore estimates to be no more than three-quarters of an inch thick, is located an estimated two clicks southwest of Sandusky, Ohio.
While some skeptics are critical of Gore's approach, some can't help but admire his persistence. Barry Dangles, CEO of Stuffin' Stuff Inc: "I can't believe he can still get work, but you'd be surprised at what a man is willing to put into a hole when the mood strikes."
As expected, Gore plans to ride his wish table to the highest heights, where he will insert a rubber stopper into the stratosphere. If need be, Gore stated that he is willing to "stay as long as it takes".
When asked if he supports the plan, Gore's opponent in the 2000 election and President of the United States, George Bush, queried, "If Gore's stopping it from coming in, who's stopping it from going out?"