Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Politics

Sunday, 4 February 2007

image for Noses of Witnesses at Scooter Libby Trial Grow Longer and Longer
How long can it grow?

"The number of Pinocchio-style noses here is amazing," announced a startled watcher of the CIA leak case trial.

Sellers of Kleenex in the Wash., DC, area were pleased, however, as the longer noses are providing a greater demand for their product. Likewise, street vendors of hot dogs and other food were delighted; sales boomed, as increased smelling power of longer noses drew more trial witnesses to the food carts.

Trial watcher Terri Truthlover was appalled, however, at the growing number of people with growing noses. "Good grief, most of them are news people. How can we trust them to sniff out the news with noses of that size?" she commented.

Meanwhile, one witness had a problem greater than a growing nose, since, as he was leaving the courtroom, his pants spontaneously burst into flames. Tragedy was averted when an alert bystander ran and got a fire extinguisher. As she got to work, others stood around the victim chanting, "Liar, liar, pants on fire."

Since it's likely that future incidents such as this may break out, the DC fire department announced yesterday that it will maintain a presence in the courtroom for the remainder of the trial. According to the fire chief, the good news is that the longer noses mitigate the potential of fire tragedy, as increased sniffing powers act as natural and effective smoke detectors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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