Grand Forks, North Dakota - In a thrilling come from behind victory today, Charles Manson overtook 2 time champion Ned Sparks by scoring a 9 out of 10 in the freestyle round of the annual Grand Forks Square Dance Contest.
"Things looked pretty grim since Ned was so far ahead of me going into the last round," said the man known more for his mass murdering and Satanic culting than his dancing prowess. "But I knew I still had a chance. So I remained calm, got my boogie on and I flat out nailed my patented dosey do-allemande left combo move."
Judge Gladys Pluckney didn't seem at all perturbed by either the criminally insane contestant's horrible infamy or the swastika prominently carved into his forehead.
"I know Charles has done some terrible wrong in the past, and he is a most unusual lookin' fellar, but the bottom line is that that boy can dance like a hog stuck with a branding iron!"
Unfortunately for Dancin' Manson, but fortunately for the rest of us, his victory celebration was cut short as the Grand Forks Friars Club Hall, site of this year's contest, was surrounded by a virtual army of local and federal law enforcement officials. Manson was promptly returned to his maximum security cell where the only future dancing he'll be doing is with the Devil.