Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Iraq, Dick Cheney

Monday, 29 January 2007

image for Cheneys To Vacation In Iraq
Baghdad is just 400miles from the beach

Insisting he isn't delusional, Dick Cheney plans to spend a two week spring vacation with wife, daughter and grandchildren in Iraq. Even pregnant daughter Mary intends to go along, and not to be outdone by the birth of Angelina Jolie's child in a third world country, Ms. Cheney plans to have her child at the newly completed Halliburton Community Hospital of Baghdad.

The Vice President also intends to do some duck hunting in the Kurdish region of Iraq where crates of caged ducks will be flown in from the same farm that provided crates of caged ducks when Mr. Cheney had his hunting mishap last year.

Echoing Laura Bush saying, "Lots of good things are going on in Iraq that aren't being mentioned by the media.", the vice president said in his interview with Wolf Blitzer, that "Many, many good things are happening in Iraq." Insisting, with a straight face, that the United States was winning the war, Cheney blamed the misconception of a failure on the poor work done by the media.

Is it possible that the public has been misled by reporters embedded with the military risking their lives in Iraq, but that the White House is privy to more accurate information? Maybe the war viewed on television and internet news just looks like a Mad Max, Road Warrior, car bomb after car bomb, Sunni versus Shia, versus G.I., versus insurgents, versus Al-Qaeda, High Noon, gang bang busters free for all. Before fired, former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said, "From a plane, everything in Iraq looks calm." From the moon, it probably looks like the nativity scene.

True, some schools are actually being constructed faster than they are being destroyed. That's a plus. Some teachers are making it to their classrooms alive, not kidnapped, shot or beheaded, making it home in one piece. Another plus. Certainly traffic is moving. How else could suicide bombers reach their destinations?

Proving that Iraq is more like the Swiss hills of the Sound On Music , rather than the hell depicted in the film Constantine, the Cheney family will leave for vacation after Valentine's day, not staying in the heavily protected fortress of the Green Zone or the popular Baghdad Motel Six. Instead they'll spend two weeks at Iraq's newly constructed Halliburton Bed and Breakfast, located in the Suni triangle of Baghdad, just down the street from the Halliburton central post office, near the Halliburton Army Navy Surplus store.

It's going to be springtime for the Cheneys in Baghdad.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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