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Topics: Naked

Saturday, 27 January 2007

image for Florida Girl Gets Settlement in Topless Jumping Jacks Case
boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.

Last year, a Florida teenager was found in a compromising in her car with an older teen boy. The arresting officer had her get out of her car and forced her to do topless jumping jacks for him. In the ensuing legal process, the policeman was fired and the girl received a $35,000 settlement, or $7,000 for each jumping jack.

The young lady in question has reached 18 and is now releasing a naked exercise video. For just $29.95 (plus postage and handling), you can see her do her famous jumping jacks. Also included on the video are scenes of other exercises, like sit-ups, squat thrusts, push-ups, and running in place. She also lays flat on her back, raises her feet six inches into the air, and holds them in place. Then, while still holding her legs in the air, she spreads them apart slowly and brings them back together.

The DVD is currently being bundled with the "Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy naked aerobics workout". This bouncy, bouncy, bouncy session includes such songs as Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical" and the Disney Tigger bouncing theme.

We understand the girl did feel some remorse for the arresting officer and she offered him a role in the video. He gives a voice commentary on a bonus feature of video footage from the original arrest scene.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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