Written by King David
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Saturday, 27 January 2007

image for Painting of Britney Spears Displayed in The Rotunda of U.S. Capitol
Painting Depicting "Fox Hunt" Favorite Hollywood Papparazzi Pastime

The photos of Britney Spears getting out of a limo panty less have become immortalized and American symbols for bald capitalism and individual freedom. Writers for Spoof International found a painted rendition of one of the now famous photos hanging in the Rotunda of the U.S. Capitol. Painted in realism, it was said that the painting was in good company and hung on the wall next to John Trumbull's "Declaration of Independence" and William H. Powell's, "Discovery of the Mississippi."

Capitol spokesmen didn't say what the picture would be named, but interior designers working in the Capitol said that several names were being thrown around as possibilities. They included: "Surrender of Panties,""Discovery of a Hollywood Star,"or "Britney Spears Crossing The Limo Seat."

It was also said that designers were in the process of changing the Apotheosis of Washington in the eye of the Rotunda to go with the new Capitol theme. It was said that the scene on the canopy fresco would be changed to include the labia major and labia minor of the pop star diva.

The scenes currently depicted in the Apotheosis: War, Science, Marine, Commerce, Mechanics and Agriculture would be moved to a wall in lower part of the room just above the exit sign. Also, it was said that a scene depicting the theme of Sex will be added to the "Big 6" somewhere between the scenes of War and Science.

"We feel like this move is long overdue," said interior designer, Martha Sewer. "We need desperately to modernize and commemorate the new age in America. How can we not add this compelling facet of modern life? Look at how the French have interwoven the basest of human drives with the sanctity of being, or the Brazilians. It's time for America to come out of the dark ages and experience a renaissance in pubic life."

It wasn't revealed how much the new paintings would cost, but Congressmen offered to privately fund the new exhibitions if it was an issue.

"We get tired of seeing the same old thing in Washington. We need to stir things up," Representative Congressman David Hasaprice from North Carolina said.

Paintings showing full frontal male nudity, in a Congressional Act of fairness, were also being commissioned to cater to Washington's new ladies of power. Dates were not given as to when those paintings would be finished.

Other historical paintings currently in the Rotunda include: "Baptism of Pocahontas," "Embarkation of the Pilgrims," "Landing of Columbus," "Surrender of General Burgoyne," "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," and "General George Washington Resigning His Commission."

In other news today, Dick Cheney poses nude for U.S. Capitol Rotunda portrait.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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