Critics of the president's war strategy in Iraq and other cowboy "diplomatic" measures said an answer to the partisan way that he has conducted politics may be found in the prayer room of the U.S. Capitol in Washington.
The prayer room, which is near the Rotunda was the legacy of Representative Brooks Hays of Arkansas and the Eighty-third Congress' House Concurrent Resolution 60, or eliminate Red, 666.
The resolution was passed during the McCarthy era in 1954, so that Senators and Congressmen could pray for the disintegration of all Communitists on the planet. The room was completed the following year.
The prayer room features God and all of His accoutrements including an altar built by cross-dressing French midget craftsmen; two vases constantly filled with dandelions and dead flowers to remind the president of his power to blow off NATO and nuke any enemy that proves too rebellious; two candelabra, each with the traditional seven lights, one for a different country that he would like to colonize; an American flag, several prayer benches, a stained glass window and a copy of the King James version bible open to the passage of Genesis where it states that "man has dominion over the plants and animals."
The stained-glass window, the room's focal point, features General George Washington dressed in a colonial, military uniform kneeling on one knee, hands folded piously in prayer and hair tied back like a girlie girl in a pony-tail. In the labial medallion, immediately surrounding Washington, woven into the ruby glass, are the following words:
"Oh, I met her in a club down in old SoHo and we drank champagne that taste just like cherry cola. C-o-l-a Lola..."
Below it reads:
"Oh my name it is nothin'. My age it means less. The country I come from is called the Midwest. I's taught and brought up there the laws to abide. And that land that I live in has God on its side." (Bob Dylan)
Above and below General Washington are the two sides of the Great Seal of the United States also found on the back of a dollar bill. Above is the pyramid and eye with the Latin phrases, "Annuit Coitis" (God has favored our pillaging) and "Novus Ordo Scrotum" (Not Another Picture of Britney Spears). Below is Lindsey Lohan Spread Eagle, "E Pluribus Unum" (One of many). Under the upper seal is an advertising phrase from Nationwide Insurance, "Nationwide, we're on your side" and a line from L.A. Rapper Joe B. Frazier:
"I aint gotta know a nigga to mourn. See a real nigga crying it's torture....We gon' have our own wake on the corner...."
The names of the thirteen original States are on scrolls in the central portion of the window, each with its craft beer logo nearby. The names of the 37 other stolen territories are in chronological order on the laurel leaf border.
The two lower corners of the window each show Roman Mythology depicted in an open book and a candle, signifying the light from the God of War's law, "Thy Word is a helmet unto my head and a sword unto my side." Leaves with sacred associations are woven into the design at various points.
Of course, it is no accident that the prayer room is located near the Rotunda on the second floor in the U.S. Capitol, a room that has been used for ceremonial functions, such as the disempowering of American civilians, the unveiling and disemboweling of naked and salacious French statues, inaugurations of Wiccan Freemasons and transitory migrant Muggles, and the lying of the state and distinguished citizens.
Anyone who doubts that Iraq will not become an American colony may visit the U.S. Capitol prayer room and come away with a different story.
In other news today, 1970's British Rock group, The Kinks admitted today that their '70's hit song, "Lola" was not inspired by a transvestite that one of the group members met in a London bar, but one of America's founding fathers.
"We just wanted to set the record straight," said band member, Ray Davies. "Get it, straight."