Washington DC - (Rioters): Plans to mark President Bush's reitrement in 2008 are to include the minting of a new American Gold Eagle, the obverse design featuring a cuckoo fledgeling usurper nesting in a makeshift eyrie constructed atop the flaming torch held by Augustus Saint-Gaudens' full length figure of Lady Liberty.
An IOU will replace the traditional olive branch held in Liberty's left hand which will bear a tatoo number of the November 2000 State of Florida hanging chad conundrum outcome.
The reverse design will feature a Creationist Museum barcode that guarantees entry to the Reverend Pat Robertson-sponsored intelligent design facilities in Kentucky.
The news released today confirms earlier reports that the new Eagle will also fund the President's government-sanctioned Individual Retirement Account which is at the heart of plans for his Presidential Library & Foundation.
But controversy surrounds rumors about the origin of the bullion that is to be used in the ambitious minting process.
Some reports have claimed that over 20,000 tones of bullion arrived in Texas by a CIA extraordinary rendition flight from Hong Kong after 'anonymous official sources' impounded the ingots from a Riggs Bank safety deposit box that had been traced to the late General Augusto Pinochet.
This was soon followed by an industrial-sized smelter that was seen being delivered at President Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch in Crawford.
World War II historians in London are worried in case the bullion proves to be contraband in the form of holocaust-era dental fillings which MI5 has consistently alleged was stolen by God's Banker Roberto Calvi and his associates from the Vatican Bank's Sistine Chapel crypts. The gold went missing shortly after the Bank's collapse in 1982 and Calvi's subsequent 'suicide' under London's Blackfriars Bridge.
Bush has so far resisted commenting on his retirement plans but the presence of the smelter and the bullion at his Texan retreat is seen by many that he intends to keep himself busy fundraising for his Memorial Foundation Library.