Chuck Terzella, a new writer for the Spoof magazine has been admitted to hospital yesterday, according to unnamed sources. Mr. Terzella is said to be suffering from depression due to a decline in his readership statistics in the on line humor magazine.
"At first it was great," moaned Mr. Terzella as he struggled against his restraints, "they had me in the stories section, which is the first thing you see and there were hundreds of hits on my work. Then they told me my stuff should really be in the Articles section.
At first I thought that was cool, to be in two different sections of the mag. But Articles is a literary wasteland! No one reads the Articles! I got, like 4 hits one day and it was something like 80% of the readership! Oh God, I'm ruined!"
Mr. Terzella is currently undergoing an intensive round of psychotherapy along with massive doses of Prozac and shock treatments. He could be overheard mumbling, "Click on Articles, click on Articles," over and over again.
Editors for the prestigious online magazine, when asked about Mr. Terzella's comments responded, "Who? This guy writes for us? Are you sure? He sounds like a real wanker."
Mr. Terzella's lawyers, when asked about the possibility of a lawsuit said, " Sure, we looked into it, I mean a little extra cash is always nice around the Holidays, but can you believe it, that idiot (Terzella) was writing for a non-profit magazine! A non profit, I mean Jesus, how stupid was that. He deserves whatever he gets, which sure as hell won't be money, that jerk."