Written by Blind Fool -••-
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Topics: Al Gore, suicide

Friday, 12 December 2003

In a posthumous interview, Al Gore answered questions about this unforeseen turn of events.

"Well, I was just talking like I always do when, in a frightening moment of naked reality, I heard myself endorse myself. I just don't know where it came from. I surely didn't mean to endorse myself."

Surprisingly, Gore looked more alive than ever stretched out on the metal table. Tipper agreed saying that she hadn't seen that much color in her husband's cheeks since their wedding night.

Al also agreed saying that he had never felt better. In fact, he had us check his toe tag just to be sure which, of course, indeed confirmed that he was not alive anymore.

"Oh well, I guess," responded Gore.

When asked why he did it (commit suicide), he answered that once those words were uttered that he knew he was cursed anyway-that his political life was doomed. "Come on. I mean, look at Lieberman now. Come on."

When asked how he did it (commit suicide), he answered that he just started talking but this time all he spake was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

"I knew the shock to my system would be too much. And at the final moment known as the 'critical mass of toxic reality,' I died."

Gore went on to point out the irony of all this since he, he claims, invented political endorsements. "I did, you know."

In related news, Bill Clinton is being investigated for crippling a famous donkey. It has been charged that he rode it into the ground and is now so damaged that all it can do is lean to the left-the far left.

"We don't know if he (the donkey) is going to make it," said one observer. "It just won't go anywhere. It doesn't look good."

"I want to ride the donkey," responded Gore.

"Face it Albert," answered Hillary Clinton who was trying to mount the crippled donkey with Bill's help, "You had your chance to ride the donkey. You're never going to get to ride it. It's my turn now."

-••-

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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