Written by Gabby
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Topics: New York, church

Friday, 12 December 2003

The Statue of Liberty was purchased by a Baptist Church in the Heartland of the U.S. today. The First Church of Baptist purchased the landmark from the city of New York for a whopping 235 million dollars.

"We had quite a few bake sales and plate lunch sales to raise the money!" said Reverend D. More. "It took us 6 years to raise the money."

When asked why the church wanted the famous landmark, Rev. More said to bring more attention to the hard-working Christians in the Heartland:

"While it's true, that money could have went to improve the quality of life of many unfortunate people, or to many other worth-while causes, we feel like this will bring more members to our church and the symbol of freedom can be converted to a religous symbol of freedom from sin and immoral values."

The City of New York are in agreement. The Statue belongs to New York and should never be removed. City officials said with the money they recieved from this deal, they can now afford to move all of the illegal immigrants off to their own country!

Mayor of Nowhereville, IL. May B. Knot is pleased with this new addition to the town and will introduce the statue to her citizens at a ceremony as soon as she is moved and complete. She was quoted as saying (off of the record, of course.)

"This is just the kind of attention a small town of hardworking, lower class, brain- dead rednecks needs!"

The move is scheduled for next Thursday and it will take four to six weeks for them to completely move and erect the statue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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