The unselfish, caring, talk-show host has told friends, "The folks have to be taken care of, even when I'm no longer around to do it."
He plans on giving birth to several little 'culture warriors' who can carry on the fine American tradition of "The No Spin Zone." When he's finished using the transplanted uterus, O'Reilly will turn it over to fellow Fox star Sean Hannity, who can then also directly produce some fine, conservative offspring.
There might not be universal support for these transplant plans. In a recent article in the Miami Herald, talk-show host Larry King is quoted as saying that O'Reilly is an "I" host who likes to lecture his guests. According to the reporter, "It's not my cup of tea," was what King said about O'Reilly's interviewing style.
But O'Reilly was undeterred by the put-down, attributing it to a deliberate misinterpretation on the part of the 'lefty' reporter. "When Larry King said, 'It's not my cup of tea,' he wasn't referring to me at all," O'Reilly argued. "You see, they were in a restaurant, and Larry was probably talking to the waitress who had mistakenly handed him a beverage order for someone at the next table. The liberal media will stop at nothing to trash me. This is definitely the most ridiculous item of the day!"