Arguably the clearest illustration of the horrific condition of our economy, a study by the New York Times has shown unemployment in children under the age of twelve to be at an all-time high. The study revealed that nearly 93% of children in America are not employed and rely solely on their parents as their means of survival.
These statistics are made all the worse compared to China's unemployment rate of .001%. The study has garnered such national attention (good and bad) that it has even been noticed by the President himself. In a recent statement released by the White House Press Department, the President outlined his plan to address the problem:
"The gross number of children who are unemployed in this country is disgusting and will not be tolerated. How are we supposed to be the world's superpower when we can't even get our own children jobs? In light of these studies, I have scheduled a trip to China to discuss their proposed method of dealing with this calamity. I have, in recent days, been closely examining their sweatshop system and I believe that it may be the answer to our problem."
The President's announcement has given him an incredible boost in his approval ratings, which now stand at a staggering 99%.
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