Alvaredo, Texas - (Ass Mess): The Women's Professional Rodeo Association is insisting that all finalists in this week's Mega Finale undergo rigorous DNA screwtiny before being allowed into the whorse and saddle enclosure after credible rumors that surgery-enhanced contestants from the men's PRA have secretly infiltrated the organization to win this year's top prize of $100,000.
The move follows previous successful attempts by cross-dressing part-surgery candidates to blag their way into the Association's prize fund and record books that led to a dozen lawsuits and even more red faces as the otherwise 100% heterosexual riders were outed in public.
The Association has also scotched persistent stories that Bush twins Jenna and Barbara have entered this year under pseudonyms Cowgirl From Hell and Bare-Back Barnee despite a heavy security service presence in Alvaredo's Diamond W Arena - which some have suggested may mean that President Bush himself has agreed to present this year's trophy in the Barrel Belly Tie-Down Roping championships final.
The grand finale on Saturday will feature over 100 contestants and this year's $100,000 prize fund is sponsored by the Reverend Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Shake Company featuring his latest concoction the Delirium Tremens Root Beer Smoothie.
Tickets still available at $25 on the door.