Wall Street Kernel - With the purse strings of the defense budget being snapped shut by the Congress, the urge to surge the war in Iraq is grinding to a halt, and to avoid a total purge, President Bush, megaphone in hand, and his group of neo-cons who initiated the war, along with his supporters, plan to fly to Iraq and secure the city of Baghdad on their very own.
Dedicated to peace in our time, and not stalling for two years until he's out of office, Bush with the aid of Cheney, Rumsfeld, Scooter Libby, Paul Wolfowitz, Rush Limbaugh, Joe Leibermann, Tony Snow, Condoleezza Rice, and Richard Pearl, dressed in military fatigues and carrying megaphones, will each take a district of Baghdad, stand in the middle of a neighborhood square at high noon and yell: "Bring it on."
Though originally a supporter of the war in Iraq, Senator John McCain will not be included in this group of fighting defenders of democracy and oil. He is headed toward age eighty and has already made a serious contribution to another war fiasco called Vietnam.
Once a cease-fire is established in Baghdad, presumably the rest of Iraq will follow into a state of peace, and Prime minister Nouri al (Can't wait to get out of here) Maliki will appoint his successor: Harry Damsad. Seldom heard of before Saddam Hussein's execution, Harry appears to have come from out of nowhere, stands as tall as Saddam Hussein, is a former Philosophy professor from an obscure university in a never mentioned city located in the way up north of Baghdad. He speaks several languages and has a tight face that is baby smooth, wrinkle and sun spot free, rivaling that of Joan Rivers. The Bath Party will also be reestablished and miraculously, the former Mrs. Saddam Hussein met and married Harry shortly after her husband was executed; viewed by a world audience through glaring klieg light of day by means of a hidden cell phone kept in someone's pocket.
The Wall Street Kernel will point out to Spoof readers, that if they believe this article is far fetched, remember the story about the weapons of mass destruction, yellow cake, the who of outing a CIA agent and aluminum tubes. Like olden days, in this Bush administration, anything goes.