President George Bush will address the nation this evening and is expected to admit to an extra marital affair with a Turkey. An undisclosed White House source close to the administration stated that Bush's address is meant to be a preemptive public relations clean up, as the Turkey was prepared to go public with the affair.
At press time the Turkey was unavailable for comment, however, his secretary did release the following statement:
"Gobble gobble, gulp, gobble gobble gobble."
It remains to be seen whether or not this will reignite calls for impeachment similar to those brought against former President Clinton's affair with a White House intern.