WASHINGTON (AP)-- For the first time in history, an American President has gone totally 'ape-shit' during a prime time address to the nation. Bush began his speech by ordering a surge of some 21,000 more troops for Iraq in his quest to steal Iraqi oil with the blood of the US military.
Then, in a surrealistic moment, Bush was seen on camera dropping his pants. Like a howler monkey, the US President crapped into his hands and flung his feces about the Oval Office, shrieking "Blood for Oil! Blood for Oil!"
Although the cameramen were appalled at Bush's loss of all control as he turned simian, they were under orders not to shut off the video feed that went out on all networks to an astonished and disgusted US population.
Vice President Dick Cheney and Republican Senator John McCain were seen in the background behind Bush swinging from a chandelier as they also tossed their dung about the office.
On the sidelines, a group of executives from Exxon Mobil and Chevron Texaco applauded the strange performance by the senior neoconservatives.
In a moment of rationality, Bush shouted at the cameras that nothing can stop him now, he was gonna grab all those Iraqi oilfields for American Big Oil corporations and kill all those Moslems just like he was ordered by his Zionist masters "even if I gotta destroy the Republican Party to do it!"
"9/11 was a false flag operation orchestrated by the Mossad and the CIA!" continued Bush, shrieking. "We went into Iraq and Afghanistan based on a fabricated web of lies and deceit...that is the American way!"
The new Democratic House speaker Nancy Pelosi commented after viewing Bush's unusual performance that "Something must be done...we gotta put a leash on that war-mongering animal. Bush gives monkeys a bad name."