The US Senate last night announced plans to inseminate the young women of America with 'super sperm' in order to maintain a fighting force in Iraq.
With the war lasting much longer than anyone had anticipated and more and more soldiers realising that they could get shot, the numbers signing up as canon fodder are rapidly dropping.
A recent study has shown that by the year 2012 there will only be eight people in active service in the US army.
"Something must be done and quickly," said Senator Bob Warmonger of Ohio, "So we have decided to create 'super sperm' which will carry all the characteristics which have made this country great. We will then inseminate American women between the ages of 16 - 38 and in doing so ensure that we will be able to kick the shit out of other countries for many years to come."
Genetic scientist and DNA fiddler, Professor J Caringbunny explained, "We aim to create a race of futuristic super-soldiers by milking American icons and extracting the finest qualities from their DNA."
Although some critics have complained that this smacks of the eugenics program carried out by the Nazi Party in the 1940's, Professor Caringbunny was quick to point out, "We will be using this technique for the power of good, for truth and justice and because we are right and the rest of the world is wrong."
The White House has confirmed that President Bush is to be connected to an industrial milking machine and his diary has been cleared for the next six months. It is hoped that scientists will be able to harvest at least 200 gallons of sperm before his knob falls off.
"The President was reluctant at first until we pulled a gun on him," said Senator Warmonger,"And reminded him, 'Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country'."
CIA agents are currently tracking down McGuyver and the remaining members of the A Team.