Vice President Dick Cheney, after his recent shotgun fiasco with a lawyer friend, has given up firearms. The second in command of the United States has announced that he has taken up the bow and arrow.
In a statement before leaving on his first bow hunt, Cheney said, "With this, I can't have a gun accidentally go off in my hands. My hunting companions will be safe from my itchy trigger finger and I won't run the risk of ruining my hearing with the blasts anymore. I can hunt ducks, deer, squirrels, geese, wild turkeys, and democrats in peace and quiet."
A Secret Service officer assigned to the Vice President was treated at a remote hospital for an unspecified accident early the next day. Funeral services are pending notification of the next of kin. No name is available, but this magazine did obtain a picture of the victim's hat.
Mr. Cheney was unavailable for comment.