Written by Gareth Carpenter
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Sunday, 7 December 2003

Nine out of ten Americans think that George W Bush's recent Thanksgiving Day trip to Baghdad was staged - many saying they believed the 1969 moon landing to be "more realistic".

In a snap survey conducted by Mori, 91 percent of respondents said they were "convinced" that Bush had never set foot on Iraqi soil and had instead shared his festive meal with a crowd of convicts in a circus tent just outside Dallas.

"It was so freakin' obvious," said Lenny Hardrock from Houston. "One of those so-called soldiers who collected his turkey from Dubya was my brother Arnie. He's currently doing five years in a State Penitentiary for aggravated armed robbery."

Many people who were questioned said they recognised the interior of the tent in which the President was said to have made a surprise appearance in front of 600 US troops.

"If you look carefully at the canvas, you can see ‘Peebles Travelling Circus' imprinted on it," said Suzy Dankster from Dallas. "That circus has been doing the Texas circuit since the beginning of time. I find it hard to believe that they'd get much business in Baghdad at the moment."

One employee at a Texas prison, who wished to remain anonymous, said he had noticed that several prisoners had been ‘much happier' since the Thanksgiving holiday.

"Most of them seem convinced that they're going to be released before Christmas," he said. "One whispered to me that he was in line for a job as a Republican fundraiser in the next Presidential election."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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