Washington - The Grand Ole Party is changing its name to Gays Against God in an effort to keep up with rapidly changing times in America. The Mark Foley scandal and Dick Cheney's daughter made party leaders realize that it was finally time for the party to come out of the closet.
"Now we can gain the confidence of a lot more voters from the Brokeback Mountain and metrosexual generation" said Republican party spokesman Peewee Johnson during the cocktail hour and news conference GAG devoted to this issue at the sprawling International Conference Hall and Hotel.
Many of the GAG members at the press conference were seen wearing pink ties instead of the more powerful red and blue colors that were more popular among staunch conservatives in the not too distant past. The sounds of The Village People brought many of those in attendance out onto the dance floor.
It was apparent that these guys were really letting it all hang out when the police came rushing in and temporarily halted the festivities . Someone had called the authorities and tipped them off about the male member contest that was underway in a different part of the convention dance floor.
They had set up a plywood sheet with holes drilled in such a way that members of the GAG audience would guess exactly whose male members were seen sticking out through each of the holes.
I heard one GAG member tell another, "If this is what the conservatives are up to I would hate to see what the Democrats are doing". Michael jackSIN'S "Don't Stop Till You Get It Up" was the next song to play and at this point I lost Peewee Johnson as he was swept up and pulled away from me in a tidal wave of humanity as a tidal wave of GAG members rushed towards the dance floor.