Written by President Bush
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Monday, 1 January 2007

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Secret Service agents were awakened by cries of "YAAAA!" after President Bush reported a visitation by deceased Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. Bush, visiting his Crawford ranch has, officials say, stopped hiding in the pantry but still unfortunately refuses to go back to bed for fear of, as the president puts it, getting hanged by Saddam Hussein!

"He had a ROPE Laura, a rope with a NOOSE on it!" Bush told his wife who cannot confirm a visitation of any kind during the night. Mrs Bush told Secret Service Agents:

"We went to bed about 9PM, George fell asleep about 9:01. If Saddam Hussein's spirit paid us a visit I did not see it as I was awake until midnight watching the Times Square Ball fall. That's how we usually celebrate New Years Eve although last year we played Scrabble and for some reason he stayed awake until well past Leno."

Hussein, executed then buried is believed by many authorities to be .. dead.

"DEAD'S what you usually become after getting hanged by the neck until dead" one Iraqi official said. Noted Psychic Friend Dionne Warwick said,

"Even if Hussein visited President Bush as a spirit, Hussein could not physically HANG the president because Hussein's noose, being a spirit noose itself would simply slip off Mr Bush's neck. Right? Sounds logical to me. Yes?"

Many Sumi loyalists in Iraq blame President Bush for Saddam Hussein's death and think it only fair that Hussein's spirit, if alive, return the swinging favor. Crawford officials however are not taking any chances. Secret Service agents (according to KRAW NEWS) are reportedly rocking the president to sleep at night WITH lullabies until, as they put it, this whole Saddam with a noose thing goes away.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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