Crawford, Texas - (Ass Mess): Worried Department of Homeland Insecurity officials are probing reports that the Staten Island, NY rabies outbreak originated at Predator Chapel Ranch, the Bush family residence in Crawford after a number of Whore on Terra officials meeting with the President unexpectedly began foaming at the mouth at his latest peace suggestion for war-torn Baghdad.
Secretary of State Condo-Sleaze Rice immediately ordered a FEMA-style sweep of the compound after a panicking George Bush claimed somebody must have sent the canine bio-virus to his home via a high-tech micro-wave bomb planted in security service bug detectors.
The panic worsened when one of the presidential pooches then surreptitiously bit Dick Cheney in the lower lumbar region and then suffered a fit - subsequently diagnosed as nothing worse than a bad case of food-poisoning.
The Staten Island outbreak is now being traced to pals of Bush twins Jenna and Barbara who managed to escape the usual Yuletide celebrations with their family on the pretext of urgent appointments in the NYC area.
But the president and his entourage remain in Crawford until the virus all clear is confirmed, and/or physicians have administered a large New Year's anti-rabies booster shot.
Ya seen the size of them needles???