Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 29 December 2006

image for Archives: Bush's JFK Irish visit death threats
The threat was described as 'ominous'

Shergar, Co Louse - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Irish government has released official classified documents about President John F Kennedy's June 1963 visit to Dublin showing that the Gardai received telephone threats from 'a Mr George Bush' vowing to kill JFK after CIA files confirmed Bush's official European cocaine dealership franchise with the UK's Hellfire Club, Mountbatten branch.

The assassination threats were so pronounced that US Secret Service personnel guarding the President took the usual steps of disguising themselves as nuns to upgrade their covert protection operations and infiltrate the shadowy world of the Texan bandit's fiendish plot.

The archive files quote the Irish Insecurity Minister saying that: "We cannot overlook the possibility of some lunatic, fanatical, communist, Puerto Rican, or probably Texan Bonesman - or some other suchlike asshole, coming here to try to assassinate the President and hush up the paper trail of his lucrative cocaine trading business."

There has been no comment from Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch home in Crawford, Texas where the President is in deep discussions with his inner cabal about Dick Cheney's imminent fatal heart attack and subsequent replacement with Massachusetts latter day asshole Walter Mitty Romney.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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