Written by ArtismyName
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Topics: America

Friday, 5 December 2003

image for Who's the Bitch? The Hardest Part of Being Gay
Michael Knight

A recent poll from the Defence Department of Statistics (DDS) has concluded the number one difficulty of being a homosexual in America, is deciding who will assume the 'bitch' role in the relationship.

A distant 2nd in terms of hardship was, 'coming out of the closet'. And rounding out the top three was 'giving the schoolyard bullies the satisfaction of knowing they were right all those times when they so cruelly put your sexuality into question'.

When reached for comment, our very own copy/editor and all around flamboyant "sista" Javier Dominguez had this to say "...I'd have to say most of the arguments me and my boyfriend have are about who the 'bitch' will be on that day...I mean we try and switch it up, like, he'll get Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I'll take the ones in between...But weekends are a whole other story...It can get pretty catty, this last weekend I was like, I wanna be the bitch, and he was like, no I wanna be the bitch, and I was like but I'm already wearing my bitch outfit, and he was like how can you tell? And I was like because, you can see the lining of my thong riding up the back of my ass when I bend over, stupid! And he was like touché..."

A bit long winded, but we think Javier was in accordance with the findings of the recent polls.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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