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Tuesday, 26 December 2006

image for Bush Pardons Marijuana Convicts On Chistmas Day
On the first day of Christmas, my dealer gave to me, an ounce of super strength skunk

George Bush has decided to pardon all prisoners convicted of marijuana crimes. He had already pardoned one meth dealer as was reported in the The Spoof recently and decided it was time to take a sensible approach to the trillion dollar war on drugs.

He told a large crowd of reporters that the U.S. was wasting $45,000 a year to house each prisoner and that they were becoming real criminals while incarcerated with violent offenders. He also stated that now there will be room for real violent offenders like robbers , muggers , and thieves in the prison industrial complex.

A study Bush had ordered indicated that over one-trillion dollars had been wasted on the drug war since it was declared a couple of decades ago. He said that was enough money to provide every American and Mexican guest with 100% health insurance and prescription coverage and still have enough money left over for the infrastructure.

Bush also said that if we had treated drug addiction as a health or disease issue that we would have eliminated drug addiction by now. He said that by decriminalizing drug use that the drug cartels would have been put out of business long ago.

There was swift reaction by the alcohol , tobacco, and drug industries. They said that taking steps to decriminalize pot would lead to an erosion of their huge profit margins because pot would compete with alcohol and tobacco and that by growing pot people would need less hardcore prescriptions as well.

Police and prison unions complained that this could lead to a need for less police officers and prison guards - lawyers , judges , drug testing companies , and other members of the prison industrial complex also voiced their concerns.

Bush countered that what we need here is honesty and as an example he told reporters that the government had been lying to young people for years about the dangers of pot use and that once teens realized what a huge lie this was that they would assume the government's information on hard drugs must be bogus also. Bush said we need to get past the old myths created by movies like "Reefer Madness" which was based on bad science from the 1930's .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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