Written by President Bush
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Friday, 22 December 2006

image for President Bush Discovers, Santa Claus is not Real
He is so real. You filthy stinking liar!

Former president George Herbert Walker Bush today informed his son via phone that .. all those toys that wound up under the tree every Christmas didn't come from Santa but from Sears instead. Aides say that the president, a bit taken back by the news continued working on his State of the Union speech which this year will be performed during the Super Bowl halftime show right after Prince gets yanked off the stage for indecent exposure.

Laura Bush publicly admitted keeping the "dark secret" from her husband for as long as she could but finally felt it best that Mr Bush, age 60 hear the news from his father so she called him, Herbert Walker and asked him to explain to his son that reindeer cannot fly and that there's no such thing as an elf. Mrs Bush said,

"It was hard all those years me placing the presents under the tree for the twins without letting George catch me doing that. Each year he was more shocked than the twins on Christmas morning finding all the presents that Santa had left and the slice of pie we left for Santa gone."

President Bush, coping with the revelation told reporters,

"I .. I kinda I guess KNEW there was no Santa I guess. It's a relief now though know'n he's not watch'n me check'n to see if I'm naughty or nice. I can have a Zima now, a shot of Jim BEAM whenever I want how about THAT Santa? Mr Claus lol!"

Psychologists agree that the concept of a "Santa" does play a vital role in the development of a child as he grows up. Unfortunately, some say, the president like Michael Jackson never really GREW up and is in a way now in control of not just the country but the entire planet as well.

"I hope George takes this news well" Laura Bush told Larry King going on to ask King,

LAURA -> Larry? This is all so strange isn't it?

KING --> Not at all Mrs Bush knowing the president. He's not still trick or treating is he?

LAURA --> Well .. Larry ..

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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