Written by Ralph E. Shaffer
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Saturday, 6 January 2018

Sacramento, CA. With the sale of recreational marijuana now legal in California, that state's health department has warned young adult males that even minimal use of the product may result in an embarrassing but not lethal problem involving male sex organs.

The condition in question is humorously but accurately referred to as "sagging testicles," an unnatural lengthening of the sac holding the organs. While most doctors believe it does not affect their functioning, the effect can be disconcerting to the afflicted young adult.

First indication of the problem usually occurs during a bowel movement when, unexpectedly, the testicles suddenly seem cold and wet. That's when their owner realizes the organs have sagged into the water in the bowl below. The initial concern is that something frightfully wrong has taken place. Many health authorities, but not all, think that this has no effect on the victim's sexual ability.

While "sagging testicles" are not uncommon among elderly males, who are not likely to be sexually active anyway, the increasing occurrence of the condition among younger men has led health officials to speculate that there is a relationship between indulgence in pot and this condition.

Marijuana weakens the muscles holding the testicles in place, but until the state legalized the use of recreational marijuana the sagging problem was confined to those illegally using the drug. While pot has only been for sale legally for a week, there has already been a dramatic rise in calls to doctors and visits to urgent care by young men afflicted with the problem. Some doctors are advising patients to discontinue use of pot until the long term health hazards of "sagging testicles" can be determined.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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