Washington - Senator Al Franken, under extreme pressure from members of the Democratic Party to resign his post because of admitted sexual misconduct, has announced this morning that he will remain in office, and also that he has changed his party affiliation to Republican.
"I deny all of the charges made against me, I have never met any of these women", said Franken. When reminded by a reporter present at the news conference that there was a picture of him fondling a female associate, Franken insisted the photo was fake. "I have been in contact with a few members of the RNC, they told me as long as I deny the stories and none of my accusers is under the age of fourteen, I'm good to go".
"I spoke with a former liberal colleague from Saturday Night Live, Dennis Miller, and he has convinced me that I need to join him on the far right to rescue America from the libtards and asshats that are out to destroy it. Global warming is a Chinese hoax, rapists and terrorists are streaming across our borders and my home state of Minnesota has instituted Sharia Law, we have to save our country".