Written by K.C. Bell
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Sunday, 12 November 2017

image for Putin Tells Trump He Didn't Mess With The 2016 Presidential Election

Vladimir Putin, former head of the KGB and present head of Russia and good friend of oligarchs making money hand over fist, confided in Donald Trump saying that he, Vladimir Putin, had nothing to do with rigging 2016 US Presidential Election.

Whew! What a relief! Special Counsel Mueller can just pack his bag and go home. Them Woodward and Bernstein wannabes can all settle down. No story or Pulitzer Prize about the 2016 Election. Not only was the election not a stupid Watergate, it wasn't a Watergate at all.

Editor's note: You managed a triple negative.

Reply: Exaggerating a point.

Putin must have crossed his fingers and swore he hoped to die, claiming that Russia was clean. Clean as the Volga.

And Trump bought it hook, line and sinker. So thrilled, he attempted cartwheels down the center aisle of Air Force One and celebrated by eating three pieces of chocolate cake, custard pie, a bowl of coconut ice cream and a diet coke.

"Go back to Hillary, Benghazi, the missing 35 thousand emails, the uranium deal and get rid of CNN."

So apparently the CIA, FBI, NSC, DIA, NRO, INR, USCG, CSS, OSS, ONC, FIS, NIC, and the FSS, to name a few, got it all wrong. Somewhere, they must be collectively fuming…

If one is familiar with the five Jason Bourne films and how the Agency manages to have cameras absolutely everywhere, on every street, in every building, monitoring every breath that you take, with agents ready to skip continents and oceans in a celluloid second, the twenty-seven US intelligence agencies that insisted there was Russian interference in the 2016 Presidential Election, will not fade to black, sit still and silently accept Putin's KGB word.

Natascha, Natalia, Ninotchka, Nadia, and Nijinsky were not exactly a female house-keeping service sent up to clean a certain room at the Moscow Ritz Carlton after the Miss Universe contest in 2013.

Nah! The five N's provided a different kind of service, and every intelligence agency will insist that the films of their action mysteriously materialize on CNN or accompanied by drums on Netflix.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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