President Trump is having second thoughts about signing the Paris climate deal.
Apparently, this sudden change of heart happened after private investigators, hired by the President, overheard former president Obama saying that "there's no such thing as climate change" at some obscure Washington D.C party.
"Yeah, he had a drink or two, and was in a really good mood, so it's difficult to say whether he was serious or not", confirmed one of the investigators.
"He was also flirting with one of the waitresses, but I will not mention that because it isn't relevant to this story"
Yet, even this unreliable half-information was enough to leave the president in the state of constant frustration, marked with headaches, insomnia and uncontrolled shivering.
"Can this man make up his mind, so that I know where I'm standing? It's difficult to make important strategic decisions in the atmosphere of such horrifying uncertainty. I need to know whether to sign the damn thing or not"
"To be completely honest, I really don't give a damn if the climate is changing or not", he continued, "because even if it is, I can always blame Mexicans or Muslims. And after all, there is always a good guy with a gun who can stop global warming".
Former President Obama was unavailable for comment regarding this issue. Anonymous sources confirm that he is spending his retirement playing golf, watching porn and reading documents about possible Russian involvement in NASA's fake moon landing.