Written by Simon Cockle
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Sunday, 29 October 2017

image for Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview
"It was bigly, folks. Like *this* bigly, covfefe?"

As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind.

While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump produced an egg-bound chicken from an attaché case and proceeded to manipulate the egg from its ovular channel by means of his mouth.

The interviewer, Chaney van Bilt, 37, was left speechless as Trump's attempts to wrest the egg from the clearly-disturbed hen lasted three minutes.

Sources close to Trump say he was suffering from a heavy cold and that, in fact, the chicken was an old wife's remedy he had borrowed from somewhere, y'know.

Van Bilt was unavailable for comment this morning but a spokesman said she had had a similar experience with Billy Joel and a terrapin and asked if she could be demoted to war correspondent with immediate effect.

In other news, NASA has announced a manned mission to Earth in 2027. The idea is to see if the planet is suitable for colonisation, or at least a holiday, perhaps a mini-break.

Astronomers have had their telescopes trained on what some are calling the 'Blue Planet' for some time now (because it's super easy to see).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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