Written by King David
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Topics: War, Army

Monday, 18 December 2006

image for Army Sergeants Sick of Training "The Enemy"
You can fit five of these babies into one bag and still have room for your dirty clothes

Army sergeants at Fort Hood Texas said that they were dismayed that they may be training the next Bonnie and Clyde, or mafia member. This came after the arrests today of several former members of the elite Army Ranger unit for robbing a bank in Tacoma, Washington. It was said that the former soldiers would have escaped had it not been for the traffic on I-5, one of the worst interstates in the country.

Eye witnesses say that the robbery was very much in the military assault style with several men watching the door while another kept the time count out loud and the others took the money. Several AK-47 machine guns were confiscated after the arrest. FBI agents say that the guns were probably smuggled into the United States by Army soldiers as "souvenirs" in their duffel bags and had originally been taken from captured, or dead Iraqi terrorists.

"It's very easy to get these guns into the country," said one soldier who did not want to be identified. "You can fit five of these babies into one bag and still have room for your dirty clothes."

But airing out the Army's dirty laundry was not what FBI agents who are very concerned about having this type of weapon on the streets, had in mind.

"A fully automatic version of one of these machine guns can spray 600-750 rounds per minute," said FBI agent Spencer Tracy. "That's a lot of firepower in the hands of someone who is pissed off at their former employer."

Sources say that AK-47's are outlawed in the United States, but can be purchased for as little as $300.00 on the black market.

In other news today, a North Carolina man cut his finger at a gun and knife show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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