Written by Ralph E. Shaffer
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Topics: boston

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Beantown, U. S. A. In an obvious parody of a long-running radio commercial for a private, religious-oriented university, Oliveti Navy Bean Inc., the nation's largest distributor of that specialty product, released a new radio commercial today, voiced by Charles Osgood. The text:

[Children singing] Bean, Bean, the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot!

[Osgood] This is Charles Osgood.

At Oliveti Navy Bean, we believe that a bean unlocks a person's potential.

We believe a bean has a positive impact on those around you.

We believe the effect of a bean is not to be contained, but should be shared with an entire community.

We believe that a bean belongs in you.

A bean: what you are, what you will be.

Oliveti Navy Bean.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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